How to Stop Making Excuses: What's Really Blocking You

"I'll start Monday." "I would, but I'm too busy right now." You've heard yourself say some version of this enough times to suspect it's not really about Monday, or busyness. Something else is doing the work, and it isn't laziness.

Calling it a discipline problem assumes the excuse is the whole story. Usually it isn't. Excuses are rarely random — they're a specific, well-documented psychological strategy, and understanding what it's protecting you from is what actually stops it, not more willpower.

What excuse-making actually is, mechanically

Psychologists Steven Berglas and Edward Jones's 1978 research identified "self-handicapping" — the tendency to create or claim obstacles in advance of a performance, specifically to protect self-esteem if it goes badly. If you fail having "not really tried," the failure reflects on the obstacle, not your ability. If you succeed despite it, you look even more capable. It's the mental equivalent of wrapping something in bubble wrap before you've even checked whether it's going to get knocked. You're insuring against a fall you haven't had yet — and the insurance costs you the chance to find out whether it would have survived anyway.

This reframes excuses as a defensive strategy, not a character flaw. The brain isn't avoiding effort for its own sake — it's avoiding the risk of trying fully and still failing, which would remove the "I didn't really try" shield.

Why "just have more discipline" misses the mechanism

Julian Rotter's research on locus of control found that people who attribute outcomes mainly to external factors (bad luck, other people, circumstances) are less likely to take the specific actions needed to change an outcome than people with a strong internal locus of control — not because they're less capable, but because external attribution removes the perceived link between effort and result.

Telling someone with a self-handicapping pattern to "just be disciplined" doesn't address either mechanism — the fear the excuse is protecting against, or the belief that effort won't actually change the outcome anyway.

The layer most advice misses: the gap between intention and action

Psychologist Peter Gollwitzer's research on implementation intentions found that vague goals ("I'll exercise more") fail far more often than specific if-then plans ("if it's 7am on a weekday, I will put on my running shoes before checking my phone"). It's the difference between telling yourself "head south" and typing a full postcode into a sat-nav. Both technically point you somewhere, but only one tells you exactly when to turn. Excuses thrive in the gap between a vague intention and the actual moment of action — a specific plan closes that gap, leaving far less room for the excuse to insert itself.

What actually stops it

The fix isn't more willpower. It's removing the conditions the excuse depends on.

Name what the excuse is protecting

Before dismissing an excuse, ask what it would mean to try fully and still fail. Often the excuse is protecting against a specific fear — of being seen as not good enough — more than avoiding the task itself. Naming that fear directly is more useful than arguing with the excuse's surface content.

Convert vague intentions into if-then plans

Gollwitzer's research consistently found implementation intentions outperform general willpower. Specify the exact trigger, time, and action — this removes the ambiguous moment where an excuse usually gets inserted. UK research backs up why consistency matters here too: a 2010 University College London study led by Phillippa Lally found it took 66 days on average (range 18 to 254) for a new daily action to start feeling automatic. Once a behaviour needs less active decision-making, there's less room left for an excuse to insert itself.

Lower the stakes of the first attempt

Self-handicapping is strongest when a lot rides on the outcome. Deliberately starting with a small, low-stakes version of the task reduces the perceived threat to self-esteem, which reduces the pull to sabotage or delay in advance.

Track the pattern, not just the outcome

Keep a short log of what excuse showed up and when. Patterns become visible fast — a specific type of task, a specific time of day, a specific fear repeating. Once the pattern is visible, it's far easier to intercept before the excuse forms.

What to stop doing

Stop treating excuses as a discipline failure. They're usually a self-protective strategy responding to a specific fear, not evidence of laziness.

Stop leaving intentions vague. Vague plans leave the exact gap excuses live in.

Stop setting the stakes so high that the fear of failure makes avoidance feel safer than trying. Start smaller than feels necessary.

Built for closing the gap between intention and action.

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Related Reading

• How to Overcome Procrastination (When Willpower Won't Work)
• Self-Discipline Is a Skill, Not a Personality Trait — Here's How to Build It
• Fear of Failure: Why Your Brain Resists Success

When to Take It More Seriously

If avoidance is pervasive across most areas of life, tied to a persistent fear of failure or judgement, or accompanied by low mood, that pattern may be more than a habit and can benefit from professional support rather than self-directed technique alone.

In the UK, you can self-refer for CBT and other evidence-based therapies via your local NHS Talking Therapies service (formerly known as IAPT) at nhs.uk. Speak to your GP if avoidance is significantly affecting your work or relationships.

This article is a starting point, not a diagnosis. If you are concerned about your mental health, please speak to a professional.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do I keep making excuses even when I want to change?

Excuse-making, or self-handicapping, is often a self-protective strategy — creating an obstacle in advance means a failure can be blamed on the obstacle rather than your ability, per Berglas and Jones's research. Wanting to change doesn't remove the underlying fear the excuse is protecting against, which is why willpower alone often doesn't resolve it.

Is making excuses a form of self-sabotage?

Yes, functionally — self-handicapping research describes it as an unconscious form of self-sabotage that protects self-esteem at the cost of actual progress. It isn't usually a deliberate, conscious choice to fail; it's a defensive pattern that runs automatically when the stakes for self-image feel high.

How do I stop procrastinating and making excuses?

Convert vague intentions into specific if-then plans (Gollwitzer's implementation intentions), and lower the stakes of the first attempt so the fear driving the excuse has less to protect against. Both address the actual mechanism, rather than trying to out-willpower a defensive psychological pattern.

Is locus of control something you can change?

Yes — research on locus of control suggests it can shift with experience, particularly by deliberately tracking instances where your own actions did change an outcome. Building a visible record of effort-to-result links over time strengthens an internal locus of control and reduces reliance on external excuses.